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Wednesday, October 17, 2012

The Real Housewives of Anywhere

As you may know, my guilty pleasure is watching "The Real Housewives" series.

I think at some point I have seen them all, though I am not a big fan of Miami or Atlanta.

Lately, there's been a run of reunion shows that have been explosive and it got me to thinking about how my ACTUAL Housewife friends and I would behave under these circumstances.

So first of all, you have to think about the fact that there are cameras, in your house, filming what you do.  My house would be immaculate.  I would be so freaked out that some yahoo who was recording the show would pause it and say, "Did you see that sock sticking out from under her kid's bed?  Slob!"

Then, I think about how they follow them to different events.  So for example, today my friend K and I ran a few errands today.  So if the cameras were following us, they would have seen me exchange some jeans for my daughter at Old Navy.  It would have been quite the cliff hanger when I realized that they didn't have the royal blue jeans in her size and I had to (gasp!) pick another color.  I can imagine the comments as to whether the magenta polka dot jeans were the best choice. 

We then popped into Cold Water Creek since K had a coupon, but we didn't buy anything.  You would have heard the riveting conversation we had about my daughter's birthday party and her recent trip to the Bahamas.

All in all , it would probably not make very good TV. 

I can't really think of any "feuds" I would have with the other women.  I like to think that I get along with all of them.  I guess I would find out though when the cameras were rolling.  How terrifying.  Maybe that's why these women go crazy, maybe they think everything is great and then they see their friends on camera and hear, " I cannot believe Jenn bought her daughter the magenta polka dot jeans, I bought those for my daughter, she knew that.  I hate her."

Had cameras been rolling yesterday, you would have seen me in full lunatic mode.  I sent my kids outside to play in the gorgeous weather and my daughter was so awful to her brother, I completely lost my mind.  It was a RHONJ worthy performance, Teresa would have loved it, I said lots of things that didn't make sense.  I may or may not have flipped a table.  Okay, I didn't, but had there been a table in my backyard, I might have.  I can only imagine that yahoo pausing my face is some horrid position as I said, "Someday he's going to go to college and you're going to miss the fact that he's willing to throw on giant hockey gloves and play crazy soccer with you."

Sadly, that's the most exciting thing that happens around here, to a real REAL housewife.  I think that's why they cast such wealthy and glamorous (and crazy bananas) women for these shows. Even though I wouldn't want to watch what I do on TV, I would certainly pick the way I live and the people that surround me over reality TV fame.


Am I the only one who thinks Teresa (RHONJ)is absolutely insane?  Throughout 3 reunion specials all I could see was someone who was lying about everything she is.  Her voice goes up about 10 octaves when she acts like something is SOOO outrageous (but true) and she throws ANYONE under the bus when she is attacked.  I know she makes good TV, but I really can't stand her.  I follow the Manzo kids (and Greg , my god , how much do I LOOOOVE Greg?) and Albie had an excellent point.  He tweeted,
"I'll say it again, attention is the most dangerous drug on the planet."  Agreed.  She is so desperate to stay relevant, she will do anything.  

Ok, that's all, just my two cents ;)

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