I have replaced it with a similar death grip on everything else in his life.
He's 13, there are things that are important, they're just not important to him.
I don't want to completely dump on him, but it was me and my sister growing up, I didn't live with a 13 year old boy, this is all very new to me.
So , to back up a little. I decided this year that my son would be mostly responsible for his academics. I really felt that we were insane last year trying to adjust to life in the middle school. There were days it was downright ugly.
This year he would have to show us what he could do, and for the most part he's done great. I cannot believe how different this year feels. We are, as always, there when he needs help and there to encourage him. If I notice his grade is slipping, we talk about it and he has always gotten back on track. This was necessary for us. I so badly want him to do better than I did with school, but I can't do it for him.
Now, in regards to everything else. He is in such a teenage fog lately. I'm calling it that because I've never seen it before. He's the kid who gets up every morning and takes a shower before school. He empties the dishwasher every afternoon when he gets home without being asked. I don't know if it's because he's programmed himself to do these things that he's so good at them, I think it's great either way.
That's about it though. In recent times, he has managed to have me wash lots of clothes he hasn't even worn (as in, I took this shirt off my shelf and 3 others fell, so when mom told me to clean my room, I just threw them all in the laundry). I couldn't tell you what my kids wore every day last week, but I did start to realize that there were way more clothes in there than humanly possible. Sadly, once something goes in the boy's laundry basket, you must wash it, trust me.
If I ask him to put something away, I never know where it will end up, resulting in me finding my mail up in my bathroom, hand towels in my coat closet and brand new shirts (still in the Target bag) on their way to the trash. He recently wore his dress belt to baseball practice because he couldn't find his baseball belt, I mean, I could go on and on.
None of this is horrible and I know he'll snap out of it someday. He doesn't really get to play video games during the week and the same goes for TV, so I often wonder what is so distracting? What goes on in that head of his? Most likely he's daydreaming about video games and TV.
I saw this quote and thought it was perfect.
"The average teenager still has all the faults his parents outgrew. " ~Author Unknown