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Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Cool It Now


I completely lost my cool yesterday.

I hate when that happens.

My son made a mistake yesterday.  A big one.  He opened the door when he was home alone.  He knew who was on the other side, however, this is a huge no-no.

On the other side was "Eddie Haskell".  I really don't want to get into all the details on this kid, but lets just say, we have tried, VERY HARD, to cut all ties with him.

So, my son opened the door, while he was home alone , to someone we have avoided like the plague and basically made it so that I would have to get involved with this kid again. 

I freaked out.

I do not like to yell.  I yelled.

I do not like to threaten.  I threatened.  (Not physical harm, things like "no video games ever again" and "grounded for life")

When I was finally able to get over my anger, I was able to explain to my son that my anger came from fear.  Granted Eddie Haskell is not a threat to my son, but what if it wasn't him.

His reply was that he looked out the windows on the side of the door and knew who it was.  I came at him with, "What if it had been anyone else?  What was your plan?  You have totally given yourself away by peeking out the window, what would you have done if someone had been there asking if your mom was home!!"  This was all said in some sort of high pitched voice that was almost unrecognizable.

Regarding the Eddie Haskell situation, I made my son make an awkward and uncomfortable phone call, he actually thanked me for making him do it.  I think he learned something about sticking up for himself and handling an uneasy situation.  He told me that he was happy he did it and even though it was hard, it wasn't as bad as he thought.

I was so proud of him and yet still so disappointed about the whole "opening the door" incident.

After venting to my husband, we decided that making the phone call took care of the situation, but we could not let the door opening go.  He is not allowed to stay home alone anymore until he earns our trust again.  This means he'll have to tag along to his sister's dance classes, can't stay back when I need to pop over to the grocery store, and yes, he may even have to accompany me to the ...gasp! ...craft store.

I really think a week or so of this will drive the point home.  He really does feel bad. 

So do I.  I really wish when something like this happens, I was able to calm myself and have a rational discussion, but when something seems unsafe and scares me, I react.  I'm human, I guess it's ok. 

I called a good friend about the incident and she actually congratulated me (she knows my history of not yelling).  She told me that sometimes our kids need to know how serious something is. 

My son is totally fine with everything , we had a nice follow-up discussion about everything today.  He seems to be handling it all and hopefully I'll be able to do the same.

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