I am spiraling out of control.
I am in a complete tailspin and not the fun kind where Baloo the Bear and friends help me out of a crazy jam.
I know this is a crazy time of year, I spend most Sundays getting my ducks in a row and making sure I am prepared for the week ahead.
Then I get an email that changes my entire schedule.
I would love to say that I calmly take a deep breath and think, "OK, challenge, I accept you and we're going to get through this together."
That is not the case. I immediately deem the change impossible. It's as if someone has pulled the rug out from underneath me. My mind can't even accept the change, it's like my entire body rejects the new information.
I know this seems like a dramatic reaction, but I can't help it! As much as I try to be laid back and relaxed about life, I just don't handle this aspect very well at all.
I literally say out loud to myself, "OK Jenn, let's not freak out." This is usually after I've already freaked out. So, not so helpful.
Unfortunately, anyone who comes across me in panic mode is subjected to me attempting trying to wrap my head around how I have to rearrange everything. It's not a pretty sight. There's shock and denial, guilt, anger, bargaining, depression, wait, this is starting to sound like the stages of grief. I guess it kind of is. I am grieving over the loss of my beautifully planned week.
A lot of my aggravation comes from disappointment. For instance, this week, I thought that we were all going to be able to watch my daughter's last softball game. This season has been saturated (literally) with cancellations due to weather. Between that and every one's busy schedule, I think all 4 of us have been to 2 of her games. To clarify, I've been at all of them, but it's been near impossible for all four of us to be there together.
Unfortunately, her brother's baseball season has suffered as well, so now there is a make-up game scheduled for the same time as her last game. So that means once again, we have to divide and conquer. I know this isn't life altering, but it is disappointing, we like to root each other on.
I have managed to rework the schedule, all my ducks are lined up....however, I think I'll check my email just in case.